Luxury Listings NYC – May/June

First, let me say I was very disappointed that the current issue of Luxury Listings NYC was not delivered to my door, as the past two were. Instead, a stack of them was left in front of the mailboxes in the lobby, wrapped in a rubber band. I didn’t even find the one with our name on it, just two addressed to others in the building. I’m going to contact The Real Deal, which publishes Luxury Listings NYC, and bring this to their attention.

I don’t need the paper copy for my purposes, though. The online version is better for making screen shots. Still, I want it in front of my door.

For those who didn’t read my last installment, or for those who want to be reminded: Luxury Listings NYC promotes every neighborhood-commodity in Manhattan below 110th Street: Upper East Side; Upper West Side; Midtown; Gramercy; Chelsea; Greenwich Village; Soho; Tribeca; Lower East Side; and Financial District. Every section has a “Celeb real estate in the neighborhood” listing too, telling which celebrities live in that neighborhood! (Who doesn’t want to live near celebrities?!) And as it is almost Summer, this issue has a section on the Hamptons and the North Fork of Long Island. I don’t have any screen shots of those though because, frankly, they just weren’t that interesting. The next issue, which I expect to see in front of my door in July, will certainly report on the merry-making decadence going on there, and I might comment then.

So, let’s get on with this!

llnyc-100mil
I said something very similar to this just the other day. “$100 million is the new black,” I said. Really.

llnyc-mayjune-supply-demand-2
Silly Luxury Listings NYC. It’s not supply and demand, it’s 7-Eleven! (But really, it’s not supply and demand. That doesn’t explain anything.)

llnyc-mayjune-supply-demand-1
It’s beyond human control. This is what they’d have people believe. It’s an immutable law of physics. Supply and demand is the new black hole.

Anything they want to inure us to?
llnyc-mayjune-drones
You might find them scary too, but relax!

And finally:
llnyc-mayjune-concierge
Certainly not! Privilege is privilege! It doesn’t stop when you come home.

***

Here’s a look at some of the places for sale.

llnyc-mayjune-4sale-midtown
Too much white.

llnyc-mayjune-4sale-ues3
Too much purple.

llnyc-mayjune-4sale-ues1
Who lives here, a monk? Do these people not own a single book? This place is crying out for something to be dropped on the floor.

llnyc-mayjune-4sale-ues2
It looks like Quilas, no?

***

OK, finally we get to my neighborhood. There’s really only one thing to report, and it’s a doozy! Check this out:
llnyc-mayjune-les-community-news

Two groups?! Does Luxury Listings NYC employ fact checkers? Do they think Quilas is some kind of petite bourgeois outfit, too? I can’t have been doing my job very well, if that’s that case. I have to contact The Real Deal about this (separately from my request to resume delivering my copy of the magazine to my door).

***

Finally, I leave you with a song:

It doesn’t make a difference
if we make it or not
We’ve got each other
and that’s a lot

llnyc-mayjune-bonjovi
$42 million is the old black!

Advertisements

Luxury Listings NYC

Somehow, my wife got her name onto the distribution list of a magazine (of sorts) called Luxury Listings NYC. It’s delivered right to our doorstep! We received the first copy a couple of months ago, but neither one of us looked at it. We’re not really in the market for a multi-million dollar penthouse apartment. This time, though, with the recent institution of this here blog, I browsed through it when it arrived. It was Sunday morning, and no one else was awake yet. It seemed like a good time.

I was going to scan some of the pages, but then, in my ever-resourceful resourcefulness, I had the idea to search on Google for ‘“Luxury Listings NYC” PDF’ instead, and found it! You can view non-downloadable PDFs of the first issue, Jan/Feb, and of the current issue, Mar/Apr.

The magazine covers every neighborhood-product in Manhattan below 110th Street: Upper East Side; Upper West Side; Midtown; Gramercy; Chelsea; Greenwich Village; Soho; Tribeca; Lower East Side; and Financial District. Every section has a “Celeb real estate in the neighborhood” listing too, telling which celebrities also live in that neighborhood — a strong selling point for Wall Street types!

I took some screen shots of a few of the fascinating tidbits of information you can find there, but none of the ads for apartments themselves.

If you live in Manhattan, you can subscribe for free. Outside of Manhattan, a subscription is $95/year.

General
This is the one that surprised me the most. I’m not shocked to see selling prices in the tens of millions of dollars, but I don’t think I’ve ever considered a rental above ~$5,000/month. (I’ve also never considered rents outside the neighborhoods I’ve lived in).

llnyc-v1i2-manhat-priciest
By way of comparison, the median annual income in Manhattan is $67,204;
NYC: $51,270; NYS: $56,951; US: $52,762.

Speaking of medians, which neighborhood in New York is the most expensive?
The results may surprise you.
llnyc-v1i2-nyc-highest-median-price

If it’s any consolation, it’s always worse somewhere else (there’s a quote by Arthur Schopenhauer: “The most effective consolation in every misfortune and every afflication is to observe others who are more unfortunate than we: and everyone can do this. But what does that say for the condition of the whole?”):
llnyc-v1i2-top-10-cities

What keeps the 1% up at night?
llnyc-v1i2-au-pair

Biggest Community News Affecting Local Real Estate
Upper East Side
llnyc-v1i2-ues-news

Upper West Side
Money can’t always buy peace of mind! Not when bedbugs are concerned.
llnyc-v1i2-uws-bedbugs

Midtown
It seems in real estate cartography, Midtown stretches from river to river. No more Hells Kitchen, no more Clinton, not even Midtown West. Just Midtown.
llnyc-v1i2-midtown-news

Gramercy
llnyc-v1i2-gramercy-news

Chelsea
llnyc-v1i2-chelsea-news

Soho
llnyc-v1i2-soho-news

Lower East Side
llnyc-v1i2-les-condos

Finally, like all good magazines, Luxury Listings NYC has a humor page. Celebrities say the darndest things!
llnyc-v1i2-celeb-headline
llnyc-v1i2-celeb1
llnyc-v1i2-celeb2
llnyc-v1i2-celeb3
Ha ha ha! Those are some real knee-slappers!

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed this little romp through the joys and woes of the 1%’s search for luxury digs. Come back again!